Every Reveal, GIF, Video, and Announcement We Made This Month
Editor’s note: Please read the following in the voice of Morgan Freeman. Or, just watch the video below featuring the cheapest Morgan Freeman impersonator we could find on Fiverr narrating the entire post.
Before we begin, it should be known that the month of December has been changed to Rawcember. This is canon now as far as human history is concerned, the word “December” now null and void. Refrain from using any other names for the 12thmonth of the year.
Raw Fury, now there’s a company. They were indeed Raw and Furious during Rawcember, revealing a multitude of new titles during the month. Not one or two. Not even three or four but five. Five revealed games of grandeur, of games so magnificent that they could only be shown as animated screenshots on Twitter lest the heavens fall from the sky. And I would know, I’ve played God before after all. Raw Fury also announced two launch dates for two of their anticipated titles, with many rejoicing and dancing in the streets. It was lovely.
You might have missed the splendor during Rawcember, that’s okay. I’m here to help you get back on track.
It has Vikings pillaging villages. Except these villages are yours. That could pose as a bit of a problem. With real-time tactics and a charming aesthetic, defending against hordes of Nordic warriors is a real treat. Has anyone called ravenous Vikings “a treat”? Probably not. But then again, I’m not just anyone.
If I had to guess who is going to be the downfall of Whole Foods, it’s probably the super radiated GMO vegetables of Atomicrops. 50% farming simulator, 50% action-packed shooter, 100% the combination of genres you didn’t know you needed but can’t live without now.
Paris with a noire flair, a serial killer on the loose, and a taxi driver who is looking to end their killing spree in a non-linear investigation game. It already looks and sounds better than Seven. Sorry, Brad.
Raw Fury published a game called Kathy Rain, you might remember it because it was gritty, sprinkled with dark humor, and just flat out good. The writer for Kathy Rain is working on his sophomore project now and it is taking adventure games up a tier. Post-AI sci-fi, augmentation, and a branching narrative where decisions you make follow you for the rest of the game. *chef kiss*
Wow, would you look at that. Riding high on mountains of sand. I quite like that. Raw Fury didn’t mention what you do in the game though except that exploration is key. For now, I reckon you can just marvel at how stunning it looks and be happy with that for a bit.
Director Tim Soret put together a beautiful and comprehensive look at the making of his E3 trailer for The Last Night. I’d like to work with him one day, he is a talented fellow. And he also has a swanky French accent. C’est la vie.
Dandara is coming to every single platform on February [BLEEP]. You want me to name every platform just so you can hear my luxurious voice? Fine. Switch, Xbox One, PS4, mobile, and PC. And just so we can hear “Commodore 64” spoken in a Morgan Freeman voice… Commodore 64.
Well, that’s about all the time we have here. That is to say, this is all the words these bums could afford to pay me. They mentioned something about wasting $600,000 of investor money on a bunch of spatulas.